Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
