I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
