So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
