how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
