Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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