actually, I'm a sock model
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
