If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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