So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
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