yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Someone signed my nipple.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
