I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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