i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
