yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
