I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
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