Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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