I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize