I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
