A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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