the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
