plz talk dirty to me
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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