I only kidnapped one of them. chill
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
