This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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