Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Randomize
