were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
