you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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