Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
