I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
