I puked a lego.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
