I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize