Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
We're not piercing ourselves today.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
