Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
