there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
