i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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