My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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