We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
