Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize