Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
