new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize