i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
