i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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