STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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