oh god the rape fog is back!
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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