This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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