wrigley field is MILF paradise
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
