Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
