The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
