"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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