is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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