sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
