so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
