Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
