what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I will pee on everything he values.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
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