Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
