Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
