Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Randomize
