She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
