I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
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