yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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