It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
